


Don't - (Kihyun)

by smoshyphantrash



Series: Monsta X Imagines [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, F/M, Hospitals, Mental Breakdown, Mentioned Lee Minhyuk, Mentioned Lim Changkyun | I.M, Overdosing, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 18:27:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14195055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash
Summary: Y/N sees no point in living. Kihyun sees his point in living in her.





	Don't - (Kihyun)

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: READ TAGS

White noise filled my ears as my hearing restored itself. I had a massive headache and my body felt heavy. I was stuck it felt like and couldn't move. Hearing was the first sense I got back. The beeping, the oxygen hissing, the IV dripping. I knew exactly where I was.

Sobbing was the next thing I heard. "Hey, hey..." Changkyun mumbled. "She's going to wake up." I was somewhat there already. "You gotta breathe for a second and you can't cry this hard. You didn't eat all day yesterday. You skipped breakfast trying to leave, you skipped lunch when you came home to look for your wallet. You skipped dinner being here. It's almost time to eat breakfast again." He didn't care to eat because of me.

I heard the crying start to get louder. "I don't want it," Kihyun whined. "I don't want anything except for her to wake up."

The door opened and closed, clipboard clattering. A doctor or nurse. "Sir, do you know what she took?" She asked. Sounds like a nurse, just by how she addressed him. I heard Kihyun get up as he sniffled and walked to the other side of the room. "Oh my God," she mumbled.

"Yeah..." He sighed, handing something over. I heard a bag rustling and bottles knocking against each other. "I counted over ten small bottles of tequila. Matched with over ten bottles of Unisom sleeping pills and PM painkillers..." His voice faded with the last word. 

As Kihyun started crying again, Changkyun came to his rescue. "Come here," he sighed, hugging him which muffled Kihyun's sound and pulling him back to where I first heard them.

"Thank you, I'll leave you two alone now." The door opened. "I'm so sorry to bother you." The door closed.

Kihyun let out a heartbreaking cry. "Where's Minhyuk? I want him. Please?" I wanted to wake up just to cry. Kihyun never liked bothering Minhyuk, despite them being friends. He usually leaned on Changkyun. To call Minhyuk in meant he was really fucked up to a point where Changkyun couldn't easily get him back. 

I heard the phone dial tone ring, Changkyun put it on speaker. "Hey," Minhyuk said.

"Kihyun really wants you," Changkyun said. "Come in here."

Within a few moments, the door opened again. "Hey, bud..." Minhyuk whispered. I heard him and Changkyun exchange spots and the door close. "What's worrying you? I mean, I know. But talk to me." Minhyuk spoke softly, hugging him tightly, no doubt.

Kihyun sniffled. "She can wake up. I know she will. But she... I... Fuck, we will never be the same. I already know I'm going to be so overprotective that it's overbearing and she'll break up with me. I feel like she'll break up with me when she comes to. I already know I'll treat her like she's fragile." Even in this unconscious state, I can't imagine leaving him for that. He cared, how do you break up with someone who cares?

"Mhm," Minhyuk hummed. "What else are you thinking about?"

I heard Kihyun try to stop crying for a moment, but he just let out a louder sob. "I can't stand to see her like that again! And I don't know how to prevent it. If it's inevitable, I want to prolong it for as long as possible. I can't come into the house, looking for something I left and almost leave, assuming she's sleeping. I can't pull back our covers on the bed we sleep in and see what looks like a murder scene. I can't turn on the TV and see the news of an accident and later find out it's her, trying to kill herself again. I can't look at her pale and unconscious. But I can't leave her alone." As Kihyun talked more an more, my senses opened up.

The next sense I got back was the sense of feeling. Feeling pain in my stomach and in my head. Feeling pain in my heart. I was waking up the more he talked. "What else?" Minhyuk asked.

"I love her so much," Kihyun sighed. "If she dies, she takes most of me with her. She'll take my life with her. My mind, my heart, my soul. It all dies with her. I don't want to lose me. And I most definitely don't want to lose her." His crying started to send him into hyperventilation.

Minhyuk shushed him. I can only imagine what he's doing to comfort him. I'm sure I know. Instead of Kihyun laying in his lap, he's pulling him up into his arms, holding him upright so he can breathe. "Shhh, Kihyun she won't die. She's going to wake up. You need to eat. You're running on empty. You haven't eaten, drank, slept in the past 24 hours."

I slowly gained most of my senses back. After my hearing, after my feelings, I slowly began to open my eyes. Kihyun needed me to wake up, no matter how much I didn't want to. He needed me to. I moaned out in pain, fear and confusion. I couldn't quite speak yet. "Y-Y/N?" Kihyun asked, looking over at me. I moaned in response, moving my hand a bit. As I looked over toward him, my imagination proved me right. Minhyuk had Kihyun sitting in his lap, holding him upright so he could breathe properly. "Oh my God!" He got up, pulling a chair to my bedside. The happiness in his face slowly faded away. "Don't you ever fucking do something like this again, do you hear me?" He yelled, tears streaming down his face. "I walked in and found you, half dead in our room. How could you fucking do that to me?" He screamed.

Minhyuk jumped up, patting Kihyun's shoulder. "Hey, hey, calm down..." He said. "You can't yell at her like that." Kihyun shook his head.

"Do you know how much it hurts to know my girlfriend feels like this?" He asked, crying. "How much it kills me to know you felt like no one loved you and cared for you... That you were useless. That you didn't deserve anyone's time. You can't leave me. I love you, please let me in. Let me help. Let prolong the inevitable. It's nowhere near time to go, Y/N. Don't leave me." Kihyun cried so hard he began to hyperventilate. 

I couldn't say anything, Minhyuk just grabbed onto him. "Hey, hey!" He stood him up. Kihyun immediately fell to the ground, knees weakening below him. "Kihyun, you need to fucking breathe."

His fall scared me, "Eat, damn it." I said, looking down at him. "Please. Please eat." Kihyun took a while to finally start calming down.

"You don't hate me?" He asked. "You were just quiet?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

I nodded softly as Minhyuk helped him back to his seat. "No? Why would I?"

Kihyun took my hand, kissing it softly. "I saved you... You wanted to die and I saved you. A lot of people don't want saving and resent the people who saved them." He shuddered softly, holding my hand tighter.

"I can't hate you for loving me." I shrugged, trying not to cry. "I love you, I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I didn't mean to yell. You scared me. I'm sorry... We'll get you help, okay baby?" I nodded softly, slowly falling asleep again. I had a massive headache. Kihyun kissed my forhead, sniffling. "Don't do it again, please. I love you, Y/N." I smiled softly, drifting off to sleep.


End file.
